Happy Holidays!
by Spotty1006
Summary: Celebrating a whole bunch of holidays with the Warriors.
1. Halloween '09!

Thank you 

**Wow....that's supposed to be a smiley face! Why'd I even leave that on there?**

**Anyway, HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! I got bored (obviously) and decided to rip-off an idea from the Simpsons for Halloween. **

**The cast of characters:**

**Mintfur is the Narrator (person this poem is about, the "I" in the poem.).**** Antpelt is the Raven.**** Duskfur is the picture of Lenore. Willowclaw has the honor of saying whatever Mintfur thinks and we were too bored to just type normally.  


* * *

**"3, 2, 1..." Firestar muttered. Then the orange tom quacked like a duck.

"Hello, and thank you for celebrating the holidays with the Warriors!" Spottedpaw13 announced. "Today is Halloween!"

"Apparently, on Halloween, your supposed to wear a costume, walk to peoples houses, and they give you candy," Cinderpaw added. "However, nobody in this room has gone trick-or-treating in a long time. We spend our Halloweens eating chocolate, watching movies, and possibly playing video games."

"To celebrate this holiday, we're going to let you watch something we ripped-off- I mean was INSPIRED- by The Simpsons!" Firefrost yowled.

".....When'd you get in here?" Spottedpaw13 asked.

* * *

It was midnight. A weak and weary Mintfur was reading a book of forgotten lore, nearly bored to death and asleep, when a tapping noise came from the door.

''Tis some visitor,' Mintfur muttered, `tapping at my chamber door. Only this, and nothing more.''

"I distinctly remember," Willowclaw mewed in a voice surprisingly like Mintfur's, "It was in December. I read, trying to forget the one the angels named Lenore. She was nameless here for evermore."

The sad rustling of the purple curtains thrilled Mintfur, filling him with terrors never imagined before. Bringing himself back to reality, he found himself speaking, calming himself. ''Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door. Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; This it is, and nothing more.''

His soul growing stronger, Mintfur hesitated no longer. "Sir, or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, and so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, that I scarce was sure I heard you.'' The tom opened the door, expecting someone to be waiting for him, but there was darkness there. And nothing more.

Mintfur stared into the darkness, once again dreaming terrors never dreamed before. Suddenly, a louder tapping came from the window. "Surely," Mintfur mewed doubtfully, "surely that is something at my window lattice; let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore. Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; Tis the wind and nothing more!''

He opened the window, expecting nothing to come in. However, Antpelt jumped inside. He scrambled on the door and managed to sit upon a bust of Pallas, but did nothing more.

"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,'' Mintfur grinned, "art sure no craven. Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore; Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!''  
Antpelt blinked at Mintfur, his eyes showing his confusion.  
"_What is your name?_" Mintfur hissed.  
Quoth the Antpelt, "Nevermore.

"What a strange, ungainly fowl," Willowclaw mewed in her Mintfur voice. "Certainly no other cat has been blessed with a raven sitting upon their chamber door. At least, not one with the name 'Nevermore'."

Then, Willowclaw held up a sign that said, "Speak plain English, Mintfur. We're not letting ourselves get sued. At least, nevermore."

Mintfur sighed. "My other friends have left me. Surely this raven, this raven named Nevermore, will leave me too by tomorrow."  
Then the Antpelt spoke, "Nevermore."

"What," Willowclaw Mintfured** (Yes, Mintfur is also a verb now)**, "does this bird, who surely had an unfortunate, poor master, mean by saying 'Nevermore'?"

Mintfur glanced at Duskfur, his eyes suddenly welling up with tears. "Surely you have come to give me rest from my memories of Lenore. Surely, now I shall forget my lost Lenore!"  
Quoth the Antpelt, "Nevermore."

"Demon!" Mintfur spat. "Thing of the Dark Forest! Slave of Tigerstar! Surely the angels hold dearly the one named Lenore! My lost one, Lenore!"  
Quoth the Antpelt, "Nevermore."

"OUT!" Mintfur hissed. "Out! Leave no trace you ever came, NOTHING!"  
Quoth the Antpelt, "Nevermore."

"DIE!" Mintfur yowled, and leaped at Antpelt. Antpelt shrieked and leaped out of the way, the Bust of Pallas falling to the hard ground and shattering. Mintfur, after a long chase, finally managed to pin down Antpelt. "When will I die?!?"  
Quoth the Antpelt, "Nevermore."  
"Will YOU ever leave?!?!?!?"  
"Nevermore."  
Mintfur blinked. "Will you stay here for even a moment longer?"  
"Nevermore."

"Goodbye!" Mintfur sang joyfully. "Oh, goodbye, evil thing! Be gone, and may you never come back!"  
"Nevermore," the Antpelt quoth.

"That........_raven_," Willowclaw spat Mintfuredly, speaking as if she herself had been driven mad by the raven, "Is _still_ sitting above the chamber door. Never moving a muscle. My soul shall be lifted from the shadow on the floor, shall be lifted _NEVERMORE_!!"

* * *

Cinderpaw stared at Spottedpaw13. "You can take that off now."

Spottedpaw13 stared back at Cinderpaw, the disguise glasses sitting upon her face. "I can, I don't have too."

"NEVERMORE!" Firestar shouted.

"I knew this wasn't a good idea," Cinderpaw sighed. "It's damaged his mind."

* * *

**I, obviously, do not own this poem. This poem is by the strange one known as Edgar Allan Poe. Antpelt, Duskfur, Willowclaw, and Mintfur all belong to Erin Hunter. I do own the verb Mintfur, the past-tense verb Mintfured, and the adverb Mintfuredly. Not really, but I made them up. They are not real, so don't go saying them around the world.**

**I HEARD THAT! I SAID NOT TO SAY THAT! STOP SAYING MINTFUREDLY IN A MINTFUREDLY WAY!**

**Anyway, I will come back tommorrow for the end of Daylight Saving Time. Also, I will be here for Veterans Day and Thanksgiving. PM me if you want me to celebrate a holiday I probably won't cover.**

**~Spottedpaw13~  
**


	2. End of DST '09!

**Wow, this is a weird holiday to celebrate. And I am NOT celebrating Election Day. So says the Nightpaw31.**

**NIGHTPAW31, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN INTRODUCED YET! GET OFF OF THIS COMPUTER!**

**Yes, 'master.'

* * *

**Firestar stared at Spottedpaw13. "Who exactly is Nightpaw31?"

"The leader of Team Opposite, and knowing her, she'll introduce herself in this story," Spottedpaw13 rolled her eyes. "Start the camera."

"80, 90, 69, 222, 6436456363563..." Firestar named a bunch of numbers.

"IS something wrong?" Cinderpaw asked.

"Camera's messed up," Firestar growled. "Here we go. 88, 87, 86, Live!"

"..........................." Spottedpaw13 stared at the camera for a minute before realizing it was on. "Hello, I'm Spottedpaw13, and this is Happy Holidays!"

"They.....kind of know that." Cinderpaw rolled her eyes.

"Today, we will be talking about random stuff since I didn't plan anything!" Spottedpaw13 ignored Cinderpaw.

* * *

Daylight Savings Time...

"...Daylight Savings Time?" Cinderpaw asked.

"Something to do with turning the clock forward to save daylight," Spottedpaw13 shrugged.

Cinderpaw looked it up on the internet. "It gives the afternoons more daylight, and the mornings loose daylight."

"The clock still turns forward," Firestar noted.

"It starts in Spring and ends in Autumn..." Spottedpaw13 added. ".......And I'm too lasy to keep talking about this."

* * *

Alarm Clocks....

"I HATE alarm clocks!" Spottedpaw13 growled.

"Why?" Cinderpaw asked.

"They never wake me up," Spottedpaw13 shrugged. "I always wake up before them, or sleep through them. IT's utterly pointless to keep anything on alarm, so my clock next to the computer doesn't have the alarm on."

"I don't have an alarm clock," Firestar mewed.

"Good for you," Spottedpaw13 nodded. "You don't have to worry about this conversation. I rarely use them, no matter how available they are."

"Have fun waking up in time for college," Cinderpaw rolled her eyes.

* * *

Glasses...

"They ruined your life," Cinderpaw remembered.

"Yes. They made me ARTIFICIALLY NEARSIGHTED! And all because I just got headaches all the time and they never left!" Spottedpaw13 growled.

"...And you're not wearing them now," Firestar noticed.

"Speaking for the Author here. _I_ don't wear glasses. The cat who does is strange," Spottedpaw13 mewed.

* * *

This is utterly pointless....

"This discussion topic has a point. All we're doing is acknowledging the end of Daylight Savings Time for two seconds then talking about other things not even related to the topic," Firestar hissed.

"You know, that wasn't supposed to be a discussion topic...." Spottedpaw13 mused. "Who did that?"

* * *

Super Mario 64 and Super Mario 64 DS.....

"They're very hard games," Spottedpaw13 shrugged.

"This is getting out of hand. It's about time I stepped in," a random voice spoke.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Cinderpaw asked loudly.

* * *

I am Nightpaw31, assisted by Stripepaw and Lavapaw!....

"I called it!" Spottedpaw13 shouted to no one in particular as Nightpaw31, Lavapaw, and Stripepaw appeared.

"You're not supposed to appear until the sequel of The Random League of Characters." Cinderpaw narrowed her eyes threateningly. "What's going on?"

"You know the limbo with AFG Rainstorm and Kinkfur got stuck in?" Nightpaw31 asked.

"Of course. I created it," Spottedpaw13 and Cinderpaw answered at the same time.

"You didn't create it," Firestar glared at Cinderpaw.

"I'm not the one who created the script," Cinderpaw hissed.

"Anyway, we were stuck in a worse limbo. One involving penacillin shots......in the behind." As she spoke, Lavapaw winced.

"So?" Firestar gave Stripepaw a questioning stare.

"Every cat Spottedpaw13 makes up is allergic to it because she is too!" Stripepaw protested. "Number Three......I don't want to go there."

"Changing subject," Spottedpaw13 sighed. "Someone might be eating their dinner....or breakfast....or lunch."

* * *

Give us a better limbo!

"I'm out of ideas for funny limbos," Spottedpaw13 confessed. "I suppose I could put you in a Brother Bear limbo for awhile and introduce you before the sequel to TRLOC*."

"We've already been introduced," Lavapaw and Stripepaw growled at the same time.

"I mean officially. In a way that was supposed to happen. With awesome fighting skills!" Spottedpaw13 informed them.

"I'm in! I'm hanging out with Denahi" Nightpaw31 grinned.

"Ew." Spottedpaw13. "Good luck with that." Then she teleported the three cats to a James Bond limbo.

"That's not a Brother Bear limbo." Cinderpaw paced around Spottedpaw13.

"No one liked those movies. And though I'll pay for it sooner or later, I like torturing them," Spottedpaw13 confessed.

"I liked those movies!" Crowfrost shouted from Dewspots's castle.

"NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK!" Kinkfur shouted, also from Dewspots's castle.

"I need to stop referring to my Wild West story." Spottedpaw13 shook her head sadly.

* * *

Wow, this was short...

"It was. Daylight Savings Time isn't important enough to be discussed for long," Cinderpaw shrugged. "We can't even celebrate it with more than 1,000 words.

"Happy New Year!" Spottedpaw13 shouted.

"And so it begins. She is insane," Firestar hissed softly enough for the camera to barely be able to pick it up.

* * *

*** The Random League of Characters

* * *

**

**Wow, It's hard to celebrate the end of Daylight Savings Time for long.**

**Anyway, this won't get updated until Veteran's Day most likely, and that's next week. Happy New Year!**

**_".....And so it begins. She is insane," Firestar repeated._**

**I need to put a block on characters talking during the bold print.**

**~Spottedpaw13~  
**


	3. Veteran's Day '09

**Today is Annoy Squidward Day!!! I'm a little behind on this story...

* * *

**"Welcome to the belated Veteran's Day celebration!" Firestar announced.

"First we want to tell you that the next episode of Total Island Drama* involves the game of Marco Polo!" Sorrelpaw informed the random people. "Next, we want to inform you that we know who will win Total Island Drama."

"And now, for our feature presentation......we present the Orange Papers!" Brightpaw finished. "Something totally random that we're making up on the spot!"

* * *

Jayfeather padded onto the stage. "Hello, I'm Bob. Welcome to the Orange Papers! Have a safe journey into the land of orange!" The gray tom padded off the stage, and a ladder falling down backstage could be heard. Mousefur appeared, with some blood coming out of her tail.

"We are experiencing ladder difficulties, please wait."

* * *

"Why must you do this so?" Ashpaw cried, twenty minutes into the random play.

"They're coming," Saria whispered.

"Who's coming?" Fernpaw asked.

"THE ORANGE PAPERS!" Willy Wonka shrieked as he pointed at some flying orange paper. Then he fled into his chocolate factory. "Charlie, hide me!"

"That was random," Spottedpaw13 commented.

"BOB!" Jayfeather mewed as the orange papers teleported himself and Saria on top of them.

"What is happening?" Sandstorm whispered to Chris.

"I don't care," Chris whispered back.

"WE ARE EVIL!" Saria shouted.

"Fish," Cinderpaw sighed happily as she watched the Living Aquarium*.

Squidward suddenly appeared. "Now what?"

"It's Annoy Squidward Day!" Jayfeather shouted as the Orange Papers began to annoy Squidward.

"This is Graystripe, live at the scene of the crime," Graystripe reported. "And the Orange Papers are attacking!" He also fled into Willy Wonka's factory. "Save me, Charlie!"

"That's it!" Rainpaw yowled.

"What?" Sootpaw asked.

"We're going to Candy Mountain!"

"Yay!" Sootpaw shrieked with delight.

"I'm not going to Candy Mountain," Russetpaw growled.

* * *

"Hi, this is Bob," Jayfeather announced. "And this has changed into a parody of Charlie and the Candy Mountain** or whatever you call it." Then he walked off stage and Rainpaw, Sootpaw, and Russetpaw got on stage.

"Please come to Candy Mountain!" Sootpaw pleaded.

"Fine!" Russetpaw growled.

"Walking around, the Candy Mount.!" Rainpaw sang as he led the other two apprentices to Candy Mountain.

"We're walking TO it, not AROUND it!" Russetpaw hissed.

"Hey look, it's a Wimpy Warrior, Russetpaw!" Sootpaw shouted as they walked up to Ferncloud.

"I am NOT wimpy!" Ferncloud hissed.

"A MAGICAL Wimpy Warrior," Rainpaw added, ignoring Ferncloud. "She'll show us the way to Candy Mountain!"

"Candy Mountain does not exist," Russetpaw sighed.

"Throw candy at the non-believer!" Rainpaw and Sootpaw yowled at the same time, and at the same time they threw candy at Russetpaw. "Throoooooow! Throooooooooooow!"

"Blangladesh!" Sandstorm spat.

"It has spoken! It has shown us the way!" Sootpaw grinned as he and Rainpaw padded in a random direction.

"It didn't, show us, ANYTHING!" Russetpaw spat as she followed the two annoying toms.

"We're on a bridge, Russetpaw!" Rainpaw shouted.

"I KNOW!" Russetpaw yowled.

"Welcome to Candy Mountain!" The letter V shouted.

"There's no V in Candy," Russetpaw pointed out. "And that's a cardboard cut out of Abraham Lincoln covered in candy."

"Who cares, you're going to be more important than us anyway," Sootpaw rolled his eyes.

* * *

"That was utterly pointless!" Thornpaw spat.

"Who cares?" Cloudtail asked.

"I do!" Whitestorm added.

"That was actually a subtraction," Brightpaw whispered.

**"Well, _excuse_ me, princess!"** Spottedpaw13 typed.

* * *

***: The Living Aquarium is this thing that has a picture of fish move around this small aquarium-like container and it lights up. It's my night light.**

****: Whatever you call it, I don't own it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, Any orange papers, Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie, Candy Mountain, or the letter V.

* * *

**

**One down, two to go.**

**This chapter was short. ANOTHER short chapter. Geez, they're getting short.**

**~Spottedpaw13~  
**


	4. Friday 11'13'09

**This might as well be added up. It's not very common. Happy belated Friday the 13th!

* * *

**"It's Friday the Thirteenth!" Shadow (the Spottedpaw13 Sonic character form, not the hedgehog, or any other character) shouted.

"Why are you in that form if you're with us?" Firefrost asked.

"Because this contract I signed to replace Chef clearly states in the fine print that I must stay in this form for the first week," Shadow replied.

"Don't tell me," Cinderpaw muttered. "This chapter has something to do with Total Island Drama."

"No," Shadow chuckled. "We're discussing random things again."

* * *

Why in the name of StarClan was there no school on Friday the 13th?

"That's an easy one," Cinderpaw muttered.

"Then what is it?" Shadow inquired. "Tell me the answer."

"Parent-Teacher Conferences. That's what your school said," Cinderpaw answered with a grin.

* * *

This isn't a holdiay!

"Then we're not celebrating Annoy Squidward day this month," Firefrost groaned.

* * *

How was the winners of the next episode of Can You Say One Thousand Mouse Tails decided?

"Simple." Shadow grinned. "I used Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games."

"Specific?" Obviously, Runningstar wanted to make this chapter even longer.

"Well, I randomy put the 15 cats against each other, with Thornpaw against Mr. Fluffy Pillows-"

"I'm NOT Mr. Fluffy Pillows!" Tigerstar shouted from the Dark Forest.

"I abbreviated you MFP," Shadow yelled back before turning her attention elsewhere. "Anyway, after that, I picked an event that wasn't based on characteristics of the characters, picked a character that didn't match either of the contestants in the match I was performing, picked two computers to represent them, and whoever did better of the two won the match. The team with the most winners won."

"Then why is the challenge a game of Marco Polo?" Saria demanded.

"Because that is a whole lot simpler than what I did to choose the winners and who gets voted off," Shadow replied.

* * *

When is Polar Opposites coming up???

"Soon, Nightpaw31," Shadow muttered. "Extremely soon."

* * *

You found two typos in Mario Tennis: Power Tour???

"Yup," Shadow announced.

"What are they?" Cinderpaw asked.

"The first one is seen in Double tennis with the seniors. When you're ranked fourth, talk to Kyoko's partner," Shadow explained. "She'll say that if you beat Gary's team, she and Kyoko will be able to play them. But if you beat Gary's team, YOU play them next. For the other, beat Whisker in singles varsity before you make varsity in doubles. As Ace. Paula and Whisker will decide to pummel you in Doubles, and Whisker will say something about taking him down. But if you're Ace, you're playing as a GIRL. Obviously, Whisker can't tell the difference between the two."

"Shadow?" Cinderpaw suddenly asked, panic in her voice. Shadow was laying down, collapsed.

* * *

Now what?

"Stare at the Living Aquarium!" Cinderpaw shouted.

"Sing Winter Wonderland!" Firefrost added.

"Go to sleep," Runningstar yawned.

"End the story," Shadow muttered in her sleep.

* * *

**Yeah, another short chapter. But I did tell you two things you didn't know before, right?**

**Really? Whatever the answer, I'm going to bed.**

**~Spottedpaw13~  
**


	5. Thanksgiving '09

**How do you like that? I'm doing a holiday early. This is only because if I wait until after Thanksgiving, because I'd laugh if I had time during Thanksgiving, then this wouldn't be up until Saturday at the earliest. Just don't expect Christmas this early.**

**Thanksgiving is REALLY busy for me this year, because this time dinner's at my house. Yippe, now I have to pick up my room.**

**

* * *

**A tired Spottedpaw13 stared another cat in the face. "Will you do it?"

"I'm not sure," the cat admitted. "I mean, it's a big honor. But I've never appeared on any of your stories, and you're asking me to host the Thanksgiving episode?"

"Just make it up as you go along," Spottedpaw13 shrugged. "Get a couple of cats to help you, and use this camera."

The gray she-cat looked at the camera. "I guess I have no choice.

* * *

**(You never would guess who it is.)

* * *

**"Hello! Happy Thanksgiving!" Runningbrook shouted.

"I better get paid for this," Onewhisker growled as he held up the camera.

"Please stay silent," Runningbrook told him. "According to Spottedpaw13, a lot of people skip Thanksgiving. In fact, there aren't many ways to save Thanksgiving. Christmas decorations have been out, and Christmas music can be heard on the radio. But Spottedpaw13 apparently doesn't want to skip it."

"Air mail!" Onewhisker shouted as a big envelope fell out of the sky.

Runningbrook picked up the envelope. She opened it and read the letter. "Runningbrook, I know I told you to do whatever, but please talk about this too. Sincerely, Spottedpaw13."

"Go ahead," Onewhisker shrugged. "What is it?"

"It seems Spottedpaw13 wants to ruin the Warriors mood and talk about a Pokemon story she is writing for fun," Runningbrook noted. "Well, we might as well give you a preview. Just to let you know, the story line is almost the same as Pokemon Silver."

* * *

The Edited Adventures of I: A Preview

I walked out of his room, wondering not for the first time where his mom sleeps. As soon as he walked down the stairs, his mother stopped him.

"I, it's 3 AM! I want to know where you're going!" Mom said. "This is good timing, Professor Elm just called…"

I tuned his mother out. Not for the first time, he was also wondering if he was the only person who slept anymore. His mother sitting at the table and Professor Elm calling increased his suspicions. Wanting the whole thing to be over, I found a remote control and pressed the fast forward button. His mother's voice became so squeaky that he couldn't understand a word she was saying, and her mouth was moving really fast. I pressed the play button, and his mother looked at him strangely.

"What're you waiting for?" she asked. "Go to Professor Elm's lab!"

* * *

"That was certainly interesting," Onewhisker commented.

"Another thing about this story is that the main character is named I," Runningbrook asked. "Spottedpaw13 isn't sure whether she wants to let other people read the whole thing or keep doing it for fun, but she would like the viewers' opinion. If you get to read the whole thing, you'll also get to learn why the main character is named I."

"Why do people skip Thanksgiving?" Onewhisker asked.

"I guess they don't think the holiday is important enough," Runningbrook shrugged. "Which is really annoying, because it's a great holiday."

"What exactly is Thanksgiving?"

Runninbrook gasped. "GASP! You don't know what Thanksgiving is? I'll just have to tell you.

"Thanksgiving is a day to get together with your family and be thankful for what you have. Then usually you eat turkey for dinner and spend most of the day with your family."

"That was a short explanation," Onewhisker growled.

"Quiet you," Runningbrook hissed. "Unfortunately, I have no idea what else to talk about, so have a Happy Thanksgiving!"

* * *

**It's true, people do skip Thanksgiving. That kind of shocks me.**

**But either way, have a Happy Thanksgiving, and I would love your opinion on the Pokemon story if you have one. I'm not very far with it, but I am on the third page.**

**Another thing is I will make a new story. It's a Warriors-Sonic crossover, but the first chapter has only Warriors characters, the second chapter has only Sonic characters, and the third chapter is a surprise. So if you're a Warriors fan, at least read the first chapter.  
**

**This...was short.**

**~Spottedpaw13~  
**


	6. First Official Thanksgiving Day '09

**I know I already put Thanksgiving up. I know that I made a Thanksgiving story. I. Know.**

**But there's a new Holiday we need to celebrate before it's too late.**

**And it's so weird, your pants may just fall off. Actually, they won't, but it is weird.

* * *

**"Hi!" Furzepaw mewed. "Welcome to the new episode of Happy Holidays!"

"Two days ago," Ferretpaw reminded the random viewers. "We celebrated Thanksgiving. So you may be thinking 'What is there to celebrate?' Well, there is another holiday we must abserve this week."

Starlingpaw grinned. "This Thursday is the First Official Thanksgiving Day, back in 1789."

"You may be wondering exactly why this is weird, since it was mentioned that this is weird," Mossypaw added. "But, you must remember that Thanksgiving is THIS THURSDAY. Do you see how it is weird?"

"What do you mean no?!?" Furzepaw shouted at the cameraman. "The First Official Thanksgiving Day is the same day as Thanksgiving this year! GET IT NOW? Good."

"Last year, Thanksgiving was the day after," Starlingpaw noted. "Which means this doesn't happen every year. But it did this year, so we might as well celebrate it."

"How are we going to celebrate it?" Ferretpaw and Mossypaw asked.

Furzepaw, the obvious leader, grinned. "We're going to spoil the whole first six chapters of The Fourth Apprentice!"

"NO!" Starlingpaw covered his ears. "IT'S NOT EVEN OUT YET!"

"I know, I was kidding," Furzepaw rolled her eyes. "If I was serious, all of Spottedpaw13's jokes about it wouldn't be so mysterious anymore. Instead, we're going to talk about the books that already came out."

"Yes!" Starlingpaw stopped covering his ears. "Let's start!"

"I was kidding again!" Furzepaw grinned. "In the Prolouge- Hey, I'm KIDDING." The gray and white she-cat glared at Starlingpaw. "We might as well start now."

* * *

Are you CRAZY?!?

Spottedpaw13 appeared. "Thanks for running the introduction, you four. I just love using The Fourth Apprentice cats, since they don't have any personality yet!"

Furzepaw rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say." Then the four apprentices left.

"Anyway, I'm going to ramble on about the books," Spottedpaw13 began. "_Into the Wild_ was really good. I actually read _Fire and Ice_ first, but it took me over two years. You see, _Fire and Ice_ and I didn't start out on the best terms."

"What do you mean by that?" Cinderpaw asked. The gray she-cat had suddenly appeared for no reason because otherwise this would be the most stupid AND boring reveal EVER.

"Well, my mother bought it for me at Borders," Spottedpaw13 muttered. "And I read it later that day. I couldn't get into it. I couldn't understand what in the world was going on, and the writing seemed sort of sketchy."

"You didn't even LIKE Warriors at first?" Cinderpaw gasped. Then the gray she-cat proceeded to have a heart attack.

"It's true. I didn't read it for awhile, and it got buried in some clutter. Approximately two years later, I was cleaning and found it. The book brought back memories, so I picked it up and read it. I loved it! I even began to understand the stuff I didn't get to learn from _Into the Wild_, which got explained to me more definitely at my next birthday when I got the book."

"So _Into the Wild_ was your second book?" Cinderpaw inquired.

"No, _Moonrise_ was. I got it in a book order before my next birthday, then I got a whole bunch of books for my birthday. I was hooked. At some point, I couldn't STAND waiting for Forest of Secrets, so my mom gave it to me. She was waiting until either my next birthday or Christmas, but she gave it to me then."

"This conversation is completely random," Cinderpaw announced.

"GOOSEFEATHER!" Spottedpaw13 shouted. The name of the crazy medicine cat cracked the video camera lense that the camera guy (or cat) was holding, and the episode ended.

* * *

**Yeah, it's true. It took me two years to like Warriors. Plus, the First Official Thanksgiving is on Thanksgiving this year.**

**Today is the birthday of the Comedy Hall of Fame and Softball. Indefinitely, I won't be able to update tomorrow, so tomorrow is the birthday of _Aladdin_. Thanksgiving, I won't likely be able to get on as well, so on Thursday it's Charles Schulz's birthday. **

**Happy Comedy Hall of Fame Birthday!**

**~Spottedpaw13~  
**


	7. iSpill My Guts: Double Celebration Time!

**This is my first double holiday chapter. Well, it's a real holiday from the beginning of the month and a holiday I made up. I'm not really even going to talk about the real holiday, because there's something much more urgent.**

**Disclaimer: The chapter name is based off of iCarly. I don't own it. I don't own Jayfeather either. Or Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, Dragon Ball Z Abridged, and a lot of stuff.  
**

**Claimer: I own Spottedpaw13, Firefrost, Sam Umino, and Yoshin.**

**P.S. Sam Umino is a Naruto character. Deal with it.

* * *

**"Cranky, are we?" Firefrost asked Spottedpaw13 after reading the bold print.

Spottedpaw13 growled at Firefrost. "I can only take so much Ninja* at one time."

"Suit yourself." Firefrost shrugged. "Hey, Yoshin, can you turn on the camera?"

"It's on," the shiny Pikachu responded.

"EEK!" Spottedpaw13 screamed.

"Wait, why is Yoshin here?" Jayfeather asked.

"Because of Sam Umino," Yoshin muttered. "Spottedpaw13, you turned me into a babbling idiot that can sense Sam's feelings! You're slipping!"

"I have my reasons," Spottedpaw13 groaned. "Hello, and welcome to iSpill My Guts, a special double holiday special. The first holiday we're celebrating is Pearl Harbor Memorial Day!"

"Proof that Spottedpaw13's slipping even more: That was back on the 7th," Firefrost added.

"Quiet, you," Spottedpaw13 hissed. "The second holiday is Dig That Crazy Santa Claus day." As she spoke, the Author shivered with the bad memories that holiday brought.

"Well?" Jayfeather demanded. "I don't know why I'm even here. Hurry up and tell us about this made up holiday."

"Well, Dig That Crazy Santa Claus day (also known as Dig It day, Bad day, or Shut Up day) is a holiday that I created. It takes place on the 17th. This is the day the school's Christmas concert ended up on," Spottedpaw13 explained. "On Shut Up day, one of the songs we had to sing was called Dig that Crazy Santa Claus."

"Lyrics coming up..." Yoshin muttered.

"Why is this a TV show? I thought you were done with TV," Jayfeather growled.

"QUIET!" Spottedpaw13 hissed. "The lyircs are up."

_Dig that crazy Santa Claus, with his red suit on! _

_Dig that walk that crazy talk! Man oh man he's really gone._

_Dig that crazy Santa Claus with his bag of toys!_

_Drags his sack through a chimney stack. All the little hep cats jump for joy._

_Cool it, Rudolph, cool it! With your nose aglow tell those groovy reindeer when Santa starts to blow, go go!_

_Dig that crazy Santa Claus, well I do believe_

_He will bring some crazy toys so you better be good this Christmas Eve._

"I'm not giving up anything else for lyrics," Spottedpaw13 muttered.

Jayfeather sniffed impatiently.

"Well, that's all you need to know," Spottedpaw13 replied.

"How about: Why is the called iSpill My Guts?" Jayfeather inquired. "What's up with that?"

"Well, a very VERY few of you have read _Sam Umino: The Ninja of Pokemon_," Spottedpaw13 began. "It's a Naruto-Pokemon crossover. And there's something about the name Sam that's fishy..."

Firefrost coughed. "It's her nickname."

Spottedpaw13 shot Firefrost a death glare.

"In fact, it's a whole third of her name, so you can guess what her first name is," Firefrost smirked.

Spottedpaw13 closed her eyes and a bag full of weights fell on Firefrost, giving him a concussion.

"Thank you, Firefrost," Spottedpaw13 mewed icily, as if Spottednose were standing there instead.

* * *

**We interrupt this program to bring you a commercial about something you ALREADY know about. Be quiet.**

"No one CARES anymore, Spottedpaw13," Jayfeather spat. "Besides, I thought that you were through with TV."

**Shut up, Jayfeather. Even my FAVORITE character can't boss me around. Besides, Kakashi is SO much better than you.**

Jayfeather muttered something inaudible.

**Anyway, have you been keeping up with the official Warriors website lately? Well, it has a new layout, and it might take you awhile to find where you consult StarClan for your name and Clan, but that's under Clan. Going to Cats, if you look at the Family Tree for "The Site", which is said wrong because that IS what it's for, IT LIES.**

**Yes, you already know.**

**Anyway, first of all, it doesn't say The Sight. It says The Site. Second of all, it says that Hazelpaw is the daughter of Brackenfur and Sorreltail instead of Mousepaw. Now this ain't right. What's even more wrong is that she's DECEASED. And even more confusing, she's still alive as the daughter of Smoky and Daisy. Which is odd.**

**Now back to our regularly scheduled program.**

**P.S. Nightpaw31 rules you.

* * *

**Firefrost glared at Spottedpaw13. "OW."

"Yup, now you know." Spottedpaw13's tail lashed. "But call me Sam, and Cinderpaw will be sent to eat you. If you MUST call me anything other than Spottedpaw13, Spotty, or anything else you could possibly get from Spottedpaw13, including Pot, Paw, Pottedpaw, or Qwerty, call me Joe."

"JOE?!?" Jayfeather blinked. "What?"

"Hey, it's my favorite nickname that doesn't involve my name," Spottedpaw13 protested.

"Whatever," Firefrost rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, that's all for now," Spottedpaw13 sighed. "Even if we didn't celebrate anything. See you next time!"

* * *

**You can now know what I, Spottedpaw13, am working on! I don't feel like telling you how. Too bad.**

**Stay tuned!**

**~Spottedpaw13~  
**


	8. Triple Trouble of a Celebration! '09

**Attention! The Fudge Bucket: If you're wondering, the fudge bucket is a bucket made out of fudge. If Firestar wanted a bucket full of fudge, he would have said bucket of fudge.**

**Well, libithewolf, I must clean my room, but I still must update as promised.

* * *

**"Hello, and this is Cinderpaw," Cinderpaw mewed. "We're lumping Christmas Eve and Christmas together because, well, we can't stay for too long. Our third holiday might get thrown in the mix as well, so listen up."

"Spottedpaw here!" Spottedpaw interrupted. "Spottedpaw13 is still sick according to her own standards, but has been busy. No, she does not have her computer monitor back. Stop asking."

"Thanks, no GO AWAY!" Cinderpaw hissed. "First of all, Spottedpaw13 would like me to report what she got for Christmas. Well, she got a bass guitar set, Sonic Rush, Family Feud (for GameBoy Advance), Uno/Skipbo (for GameBoy Advance), The Fourth Apprentice, some chocolate, Chicken Soup for the Soul Word Finds Volume 13, a Jimmy Johnson (stop booing) notepad, Jimmy Johnson sticky notes, a pencil and a candy cane, a bear named Icebox, fuzzy socks, Dragonball Origins (for the Nintendo DS), and Bluestar's Prophecy (in hard cover)."

"As a bonus, she also found Jaypaw's Saga: The Gift and the beginning of a failed Jaypaw's Saga book 2: Destiny. It failed because Hollyleaf's warrior name was Hollyberry, Lionblaze's warrior name was Lionclaw, and well, the warrior ceremony setup just plain failed because of two warriors every day for three days. Who's the sixth cat anyway? Jayfeather? Another reason, you guessed, it's going to be rewritten."

"I wonder if she's going to put The Gift up..." Cinderpaw muttered. "After all, it's poor quality, not to mention the fact that Heatherpaw got exiled for trying to kill Whitetail."

"It's messed up," Spottepdaw13 sniffed.

"What are you doing here?" Cinderpaw asked.

"My nose is running. That's ALL that's wrong." Spottedpaw13 rolled her eyes. "Duh. Here's an exert of The Fudge Bucket to put us back in the Christmas spirit."

* * *

Later, in Firestar's den, Firestar was asking Spottedpaw what kind of gifts Santa Claws gave cats.

"Anything you want, if you're good," Spottedpaw replied cheerfully. "And if you're bad...well, let's not go there, since I'm sure you've been good.

_Flashback:_

_Firestar threw 10 tons of dynamite into WindClan's camp. He laughed evilly as he watched, from a distance, WindClan's camp exploding._

_End Flashback_

Firestar laughed nervously. "Well, how does Santa Claws know what kind of gifts the good cats want?"

"Well, cats all over, well, many places, they write him letters telling him what they want, and he gives it to you."

"Just like a genie!" Graystripe grinned.

"Umm.......yeah...." Spottedpaw licked a paw nervously. "The point is, right Santa Claws a letter if you want anything."

"Okay!" Firestar nodded as he grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and began to write.

"I don't feel like it..." Graystripe muttered as he left.

Spottedpaw licked a paw nervously. "This might not go well...after all, since when can cats write?"

"Since fans began writing stories!" a voice growled. Spottedpaw flattened her ears and ran in terror.

"Hey, where are you going?" Firestar asked. "It's Christmas Eve! You need to write a letter to Santa Claws if you want a present!"

How did Firestar know that Santa Claws delivered presents on Christmas Eve? The world may never know...

* * *

"It was actually pretty short," Cinderpaw growled.

"Whatever, it has no Spongebob characters," Spottedpaw pointed out. "And Spottedpaw13 is pretty close to letting Bowser be in Polar Opposites."

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure the announcer dropped a D bomb in Pokemon Stadium 2,'' Spottedpaw added. "So I'm probably not playing that for awhile as I let it soak through me skull."

"Since when were you a pirate?" Spottedpaw asked.

"You are a pirate!" Cinderpaw sang.

"Don't make me unleash my Author Rage," Spottedpaw13 warned.

"NO! THAT SONG IS TERRIBLE!" Spottedpaw screamed.

"Whatever." Cinderpaw shrugged, despite the fact that cats do not have collar bones. Hey, we can imagine, right?

"Moving on to our third holiday, let's celebrate EL DIA DE SANTOS INOCENTES! Otherwise known as Holy Innocents Day," Spottedpaw13 announced. "Pssst, Bowser isn't going to be in Polar Opposites."

"What's Holy Innocents Day?" Cinderpaw asked.

"Holy Innocents Day is the Spanish equivalent of April Fools Day. It takes place on December 29th." Spottedpaw13 suddenly started laughing.

"What is it?" Spottedpaw demanded.

"HOLY INNOCENTS DAY! It's actually today, December 28th!" Spottedpaw13 laughed.

"That was terrible," Firefrost growled.

"When'd you get here?" Spottedpaw asked.

"Your face," Firefrost rolled his eyes.

"There's only so much that we can do in a triple celebration," Cinderpaw hissed. "Goodbye. This is out of hand." As everything faded from view, Cinderpaw pulled out an air horn. "Don't make me use this!"

A silence took place as everything faded.

* * *

**Author Rage is a song I made based on a song that is based on Poker Face. I'm sure at this point you can figure out which song Author Rage is based on.**

**After all, no one can beat my Author Rage!**

**~Spottedpaw13, the master of being bad at jokes and puns.~  
**


	9. New Year's Eve '09

**I've been addicted to Sonic Rush, and I'm at the F-Zone with Sonic and Blaze. Not that anyone cares. End Author note.  
Disclaimer: You know what I own by now, hopefully. If not......wow.

* * *

**"Ummm....Spottedpaw13?" Yoshin waved his tail in front of the Author. "Stop playing that game. It's time for Happy Holidays, remember?"

"Yeah," Spottedpaw13 muttered. "I'll be back for you, Eggman Nega!"

"..." Yosin gave her a hard look.

"Right. Wrong category." Spottedpaw13 hit herself in the head with her right forepaw. "I'm awake. I think."

"Good. Have fun." Yoshin shrugged before leaving.

"Hey, and welcome to Happy Holidays!" Spottedpaw13 announced. "Happy New Year's Eve. It's tomorrow!"

"," Cinderpaw cheered boredly.

"In other news, libithewolf is spending the night at my house on New Year's Day!" Spottedpaw13 added.

"," Cinderpaw cheered boredly.

"Enthusiastic, monsieur," Spottedpaw13 told her.

"You're not French," Cinderpaw told her.

"No, but I'm mentally kicking myself for not adding the plot twist in Polar Opposites, which, according to Traffic, has been read a LOT. So here's what was supposed to happen," Spottedpaw13 growled.

* * *

"You know Cinderpaw's not your sister, right?" Spottedpaw13 told Spottedpaw.

"WHAT?" Firefrost, Cinderpaw, Yoshin, and Spottedpaw stared at Spottedpaw13.

"Yup. It was a mix-up," Spottedpaw13 admitted.

"So what really happened?" Spottedpaw demanded. "Cinderpaw was where I was told she would be, so who's my sister?"

_Flashback_

_You know, this actually makes no sense, but it makes a good plot twist. Oh well._

_"_Hello, young one,_" a voice murmured. __"_Who am I? You could say I'm your mother. Oh well, your name is Lavapaw. Now sit here and wait until your sister arrives._"_

_Lavapaw shrugged, since she had no idea what was going on._

_"Hey," a gray cat padded over to her. "I'm Cinderpaw. You might want to get something to eat. I'll keep your spot warm."_

_"Okay," Lavapaw agreed, wondering if this was her sister. The orange she-cat didn't care, she just went off to get some food while the gray fluffy cat waited._

I'm not fluffy! Don't complain, Cinderpaw.

_Spottedpaw padded up a hill and saw Cinderpaw. She badgered her until she decided this cat was "the other" her "mother" had spoken about._

_End Flashback_

"I'm not fluffy!" Cinderpaw spat.

"All cats are fluffy. They have fur," Spottedpaw13 pointed out.

"So....Cinderpaw and I are in no way related," Spottedpaw thought out loud.

"Actually, she's the opposite of your 'sister'," Spottedpaw13 told her.

"WOW!" Spottedpaw gasped. "I wondered why she was so evil."

"The plot already ended," Cinderpaw growled. "I'm going off to do evil things."

"Bye!" Spottedpaw called out.

"YOU'RE NOT MY SISTER! YOU'RE BANNED FROM THE EVIL COUNCIL!" Cinderpaw shouted.

"Nooooo!" Spottedpaw sobbed.

* * *

"And that's what happened," Spottedpaw13 mewed cheerfully. "Cinderpaw will be doing evil things very soon...in the 20th story! MUHAHAHA- hey, can I be in it?"

"Are you a villain?" Cinderpaw asked.

"Not really."

"Then no. VILLAINS ONLY! Oh wait, nevermind, you can be in it, as long as I'M the main character."

"Yay!" Spottedpaw13 cheered. "I get to be evil!"

Cinderpaw let out an evil laugh. 'Evil cats....Me, Nightpaw31, Stripepaw, Tigerstar, Hawkfrost, Clawface, Brokenstar, Darkstripe, Longtail...maybe..., Sol, Blackstar, Heathertail?, Breezepelt, Tigerheart..I gues....MUHAHAHA! Cinderpaw away!" Cinderpaw let out another evil laugh and left.

"What's gotten into her?" Spottedpaw13 asked. "Well, anyway, tomorrow, most of you will probably spend the...well, part of the night with friends, watching New Year's Eve specials and the ball drop, or is that just our state? Oh well, you'll get to eat food. That counts. After all, the New Year is very important. But everyone knows Christmas rules. Anyway, have an awesome New Year, and expect the New Year either Friday or Saturday. Don't come to us. We'll come to you....Ah, I just quoted Team Four Star." Spottedpaw13 threw a muffin at Bob.

"Who's Bob?" Bob asked.

"You are," Spottedpaw13 told him. "See you soon!"

* * *

**That's not the only thing I forgot. Nightpaw31 and Spottedpaw13 were supposed to stealthily switch places during the battle and pretend to be each other. Then I really would be a villain. HA, I'm weird. Ignore me.**

**Expect an update Friday or Saturday, or probably Sunday or Monday. Depends on plenty of things. Including me.**

**2 new stories soon, and I'm going to try to plow through Book of Challenges along the way. Chao!**

**~Spottedpasw13~**

**P.S**. **STUPID F-ZONE! Wait, didn't Eggman say W-Zone? Who cares?  
**


	10. HAPPY HEART DAY?

**This story may or may not end soon.

* * *

**"I'm getting bored and tired....." Spottedpaw13 yawned.

"Announce!" Cinderpaw spat.

"Now," Joseph added.

"Or we WILL get on and MAKE the story about US!" Yoshin added.

"I'm so tired, I couldn't care less, go ahead..." Spottedpaw13 yawned.

"We're going to keep this short by making Lavapaw say everything," Cinderpaw mewed. "BEGIN!"

"Okay, so First of all, Valentines Day is soon. Tell that special someone you love them, because WE certainly won't." Lavapaw made a gagging noise.

"LOVE FOR THE-" Cinderpaw began.

"Shush!" Nightpaw31 whispered. "People in relationships are reading this."

"...Lose?" Cinderpaw muttered.

"GREAT. Good JOB, Cinderpaw. Now you've offended almost everyone in the world." If looks could kill, Cinderpaw would be dead now at Spottedpaw's paws. Er, eyes.

"Second of all, Pearl Harbor day was two months ago..." Lavapaw trailed off. "Respect Hawaii!"

"Hawaii has volcanoes," Sam Umino the ninja added. "YAY FOR LAVA!"

"I like lava," Lavapaw commented. "Moving along, Martin Luther King Jr. Day was a few weeks ago. Hurray for civil rights!"

"Stop being so racist, and stop being so sexist," Cinderpaw muttered.

"This is rated K+," Stripepaw growled.

"Excuse me, princess."

OnekitII rolled his eyes. "Another overused joke. What's one more? Do a barrel roll, Cinderpaw."

"Anyway, President's Day/Week is here...in two days," Lavapaw added. "Depends on how many days you get off. Anywho, hurray for the presidents, they've given us days off."

"Huzzah," Spottedcinder rolled her eyes.

"Stop being so dead," Spottedpaw13 muttered in her sleep.

Spottedcinder gave her a scared look and vanished.

"Spottedpaw13 has asked me to tell you yet again that She caught a shiny Mightyena today, even though that's not a holiday....it's shiny." Lavapaw shrugged.

"That's about it," Firefrost admitted.

"It's good enough," James Bond replied. Cinderpaw retaliated by shooting James Bond in the head.

"Good night, USA, Canada, Brazil, Poland, Japan, Britain, France, Spain, and Austria," Lavapaw mewed.

Emberfoot gasped, and blackness filled the screen.

* * *

**I'm back from the dead (dead humor...haha), but this story probably won't survive much longer due to lack of interest. Nothing to do with you more than to do with me.**


	11. Hello, you just died

**This is where you die.

* * *

**"No, we aren't obsessed with Pokemon right now," Spottedpaw13 announced.

"Yes we are," Cinderpaw corrected.

"No, we're not lazy right now," Spottedpaw13 continued.

"With a whole week of no school? Of course we are!" Cinderpaw added.

"BUT, we are ending this story," Spottedpaw13 finished.

"That's depressing," Cinderpaw muttered.

"I'm kinda depressed over missing an event for the shiny Pichu thing at Gamestop, but looking forward to Jirachi. But that's not the point." Spottedpaw13 blushed. "We've lost interest. All 10 of us."

"And we're so busy with stories in the now and in the later that we can't keep track," Cinderpaw added.

"Not to mention getting that blasted Black trainer card in Pokemon Diamond," Spottedpaw13 growled.

"Other stories are gaining popularity," Spottedpaw moaned. "And with new ones, I'm going to explode."

"Not to mention Youtube," Yoshin added.

"So this is a final goodbye," Spottedpaw13 sighed. "To all of the fans of Happy Holidays. If we get interested, we'll make a sequel. Other than that, we'll just make a oneshot or something."

Lavapaw sniffed. "Bye!"

* * *

**Told you. If there are enough protests and my interest begins to pick up, I'll make a sequel. But I'm NOT doing a oneshot for Valentine's Day. It's one of my enemies.....**


End file.
